earlier today
right now i am questioning EVERYTHING.
i have ridden the roller-coaster of my emotions for, well- i guess my whole life- i don't want to go in to too much detail about that right now, but let's just say i have never been what people would call an 'easy going person' sure- i have lotts of fun at times... but i --- how do i say this-- i throw fits... bigg ones... often...
i do not cope well with stress...
i never have...
right now i am sittingg outside, because my husband kicked me out of the house, because the baby was SCREAMING!!!!!! and every ssuggestion i made was making him very upset...
see he is now the sahd... you know 'stay at home dad', and i am supposed to be on my way to work, but i CAN'T FIND MY KEYS!!! , and just about everything usually falls apart on me, and i just about always BLOW UP, and my poor hubby can only calm me down and talk sense in to me for so long before he goes balistic, and i can only handle so much 'creative criticism' before i totally fall apart... SO...
i want to say that the best part about working is coming home to a family over-joyed to see me, but that is rarely if ever the case... and if any of you moms out there wish just for once that your kid wouldn't throw a fit every time you left for work, ask yourself this-
'would it really be better if they didn't even notice? if they couldn't care less? if the minute i got home was no different than the minute before, and they are just as content with or without me?'
now, everybody tells me it'ss just a phase, and i swear i thought i was getting over it, and i even got excited about starting to work, thinking that the break from me would ggive my ddaughter the insentive to pine over me again... but no... that is something she reserves only for her grammy... and though i am extremely jealous, to put it mildly, i can't say that i blame her... i was the same way with her when i was a girl... she really must be that great...
and now i gotta go cuz said grammy is here, who had to leave her job to come get me and bring me to mine...
luckily said daughter is out with daddy....
i have ridden the roller-coaster of my emotions for, well- i guess my whole life- i don't want to go in to too much detail about that right now, but let's just say i have never been what people would call an 'easy going person' sure- i have lotts of fun at times... but i --- how do i say this-- i throw fits... bigg ones... often...
i do not cope well with stress...
i never have...
right now i am sittingg outside, because my husband kicked me out of the house, because the baby was SCREAMING!!!!!! and every ssuggestion i made was making him very upset...
see he is now the sahd... you know 'stay at home dad', and i am supposed to be on my way to work, but i CAN'T FIND MY KEYS!!! , and just about everything usually falls apart on me, and i just about always BLOW UP, and my poor hubby can only calm me down and talk sense in to me for so long before he goes balistic, and i can only handle so much 'creative criticism' before i totally fall apart... SO...
i want to say that the best part about working is coming home to a family over-joyed to see me, but that is rarely if ever the case... and if any of you moms out there wish just for once that your kid wouldn't throw a fit every time you left for work, ask yourself this-
'would it really be better if they didn't even notice? if they couldn't care less? if the minute i got home was no different than the minute before, and they are just as content with or without me?'
now, everybody tells me it'ss just a phase, and i swear i thought i was getting over it, and i even got excited about starting to work, thinking that the break from me would ggive my ddaughter the insentive to pine over me again... but no... that is something she reserves only for her grammy... and though i am extremely jealous, to put it mildly, i can't say that i blame her... i was the same way with her when i was a girl... she really must be that great...
and now i gotta go cuz said grammy is here, who had to leave her job to come get me and bring me to mine...
luckily said daughter is out with daddy....
posted by 1weirdgirl at 11:14 AM
1 Comments:
For some reasone, nana has the touch, its the same way with my mom. My son screams when i go, and then when i get home he starts acting up.....like, mommy raidar.........he says, i can now press my limits cause she will let me since she misses me so much and feels bad for leaving me all day.
Renee yo make me feel normal!!! Im sorry though, its really hard and will get easier some day.....where do you work?
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