today...
we didn't wake up till past noon, and i'm a little discouraged by the late start... i really wanted to have the house totally clean for the hubby who's coming home today... but i guess i should just be thankful i got any sleep at all...
baby #1, aka shrimp, and from here on out reffered to as lizzy, has, count them, 8 new teeth, 4 of them molars, 2 on bottom that just broke the surface, 2 on top on their way through, and 4 other front teeth, 2 on top and 2 on bottom, that are just peeking through... or should i say slicing through... the poor thing was up till midnight, most of that time spent crying, and this time neither the call from daddy nor the adult orajel helped...
she let me hold her for a little while, and would scream her head off any time i attempted to lay her in her crib... but she was perfectly content on messing up any area of the house i was attempting to clean, i figured what the heck we were all up i might as welltry to get something done, but it didn't do much good, tiil FINALLY, the last attempt at 12:01am proved to find her just tired enough to bear it and fall asleep... then i, once in the mood and on a roll, couldn't stop picking up till i felt sure that just in case hubby came home early again, he wouldn't be too disappointed, which thankfully found me at 2:30, rather than 5am, and big baby lizzy slept soundly tiil noon thirty...
ahhhhh....
one day i might have a normal schedule... of course some say i'm lucky to have good sleepers... but little do they know, that when the inevidable times do come, where either or both of my girls decide to go on a nap fast (which can and does happen), i simply cannot handle it...
that's how it was mostly all day yesterday, till, when i brushed lizzys teeth, and decided to take a look at the progress of what i thought was just the first 2 molars i mentioned, i felt terribly sorry for her when i discovered all the other coming teeth...
i really have no idea how incredibly painful that must be for her... it's like her whole mouth all at once, and i'm a snivelling little wimp whenever my one wisdom tooth acts up...
anyway, suffice it to say, it did feel good to simply show her mercy, as compared to all day i felt like i was being punished when LoLo wouldn't take hardly 1 half of a nap for me and i unfortunately seemed to be taking it all out on big sissy... but i did get a break with shrimp, who did nap, and a friend listened for her while i went out for coffee with the girls and then shopping.... and it felt good to know why she was so darnded fussy ALL DAY, and i deeply regretted being so short with her...
but today is a new day, and i do feel God is giving me the extra grace i need to make it through, and i do need a whole lot extra today, as 5 new bombs got dropped on my lap, screaming for disengagement...
*another bill
*reminder of more 'past due' bills, (we just paid one, litterally the day before they were gonna shut off our electric)
*2 wrongs needing to be made right with friends not nearby
*my husbands current struggles, which may be stirring up in him a darkness i'd hoped was fully dispelled a while ago, but is slowly remounting i sense, and bringing with it=
*the revisiting feeling i get sometimes about life in general, and how it will never be ok, and it's all falling apart, and everything is pointless and God is nowhere...
===with the last one, so far it is just a feeling, and I feel God must be somewhere, and is here in fact, holding it at bay, enough away to not consume me, but it's there just enough for me to sense it and I'm praying fervenlty for that aforementioned grace, to hold me high above it, and not drop me, not let me sink down in it, drowning, deeper and deeper....
I hear a whisper, just a notch above the roar of the crashing waves below....
"I've got you now, you are still in My Hands'
and also, for my husband, that he too can be held up by those same Hands that alone are what save us all...
baby #1, aka shrimp, and from here on out reffered to as lizzy, has, count them, 8 new teeth, 4 of them molars, 2 on bottom that just broke the surface, 2 on top on their way through, and 4 other front teeth, 2 on top and 2 on bottom, that are just peeking through... or should i say slicing through... the poor thing was up till midnight, most of that time spent crying, and this time neither the call from daddy nor the adult orajel helped...
she let me hold her for a little while, and would scream her head off any time i attempted to lay her in her crib... but she was perfectly content on messing up any area of the house i was attempting to clean, i figured what the heck we were all up i might as welltry to get something done, but it didn't do much good, tiil FINALLY, the last attempt at 12:01am proved to find her just tired enough to bear it and fall asleep... then i, once in the mood and on a roll, couldn't stop picking up till i felt sure that just in case hubby came home early again, he wouldn't be too disappointed, which thankfully found me at 2:30, rather than 5am, and big baby lizzy slept soundly tiil noon thirty...
ahhhhh....
one day i might have a normal schedule... of course some say i'm lucky to have good sleepers... but little do they know, that when the inevidable times do come, where either or both of my girls decide to go on a nap fast (which can and does happen), i simply cannot handle it...
that's how it was mostly all day yesterday, till, when i brushed lizzys teeth, and decided to take a look at the progress of what i thought was just the first 2 molars i mentioned, i felt terribly sorry for her when i discovered all the other coming teeth...
i really have no idea how incredibly painful that must be for her... it's like her whole mouth all at once, and i'm a snivelling little wimp whenever my one wisdom tooth acts up...
anyway, suffice it to say, it did feel good to simply show her mercy, as compared to all day i felt like i was being punished when LoLo wouldn't take hardly 1 half of a nap for me and i unfortunately seemed to be taking it all out on big sissy... but i did get a break with shrimp, who did nap, and a friend listened for her while i went out for coffee with the girls and then shopping.... and it felt good to know why she was so darnded fussy ALL DAY, and i deeply regretted being so short with her...
but today is a new day, and i do feel God is giving me the extra grace i need to make it through, and i do need a whole lot extra today, as 5 new bombs got dropped on my lap, screaming for disengagement...
*another bill
*reminder of more 'past due' bills, (we just paid one, litterally the day before they were gonna shut off our electric)
*2 wrongs needing to be made right with friends not nearby
*my husbands current struggles, which may be stirring up in him a darkness i'd hoped was fully dispelled a while ago, but is slowly remounting i sense, and bringing with it=
*the revisiting feeling i get sometimes about life in general, and how it will never be ok, and it's all falling apart, and everything is pointless and God is nowhere...
===with the last one, so far it is just a feeling, and I feel God must be somewhere, and is here in fact, holding it at bay, enough away to not consume me, but it's there just enough for me to sense it and I'm praying fervenlty for that aforementioned grace, to hold me high above it, and not drop me, not let me sink down in it, drowning, deeper and deeper....
I hear a whisper, just a notch above the roar of the crashing waves below....
"I've got you now, you are still in My Hands'
and also, for my husband, that he too can be held up by those same Hands that alone are what save us all...
posted by 1weirdgirl at 2:59 PM
3 Comments:
Now ed is home and i hope that all your wildest dreams come true.
I know about the whole molar thing. Nickoli got four at once and it was so hard. There was nothing that made it better and he would just scream. I will be praying that they come in quickly
hey.....i miss you....how are you doing?
i just feel like i want to hang out, spend some time getting to know you better, its weird but i feel like a huge connection with you and all the moms form "the land" now. I feel like i love God, i am a wife, i am a mother and everyone lives day to day the best that they can and that i finally connect. I don't know why i din't feel that before....but i was like a baby at the land. I finally feel complete, content and full of joy. At the land i felt guilty and confused, until being there finally helped me grow. Anyhoo, i just love you and i have always wanted to be closer, and im going to stop rattling on........be my friend!!!
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