cold turkey
well... i don't know if i'm ready, but i tell myself i have to be ready, because it really is now or never as my friend devon says, who i don't blame for being at least a little mad at me for bringing brownies over to her house, after we vowed to quit sugar...
well, i'm not one to make excuses, no more than anyone else anyway, but here's my reasoning...
1. we had decided we would start after mother's day, with the whole dieting-losing weight thing, and i must've said it to my husband a few times, thinking for sure i would get some kind of special treat for mother's day.. which i didn't, but i probably would've been fine with it if i hadn't found the boxes of brownie mix on my shelf when i was looking for couscous... as soon as i saw it all i could think was how i really expected to go out with a bang.. as if the full pint of ben and jerry's that i bought myself the night before mother's day wasn't enough... honestly i'm only remembering that just now as i'm typing...
i don't know, maybe it is different treating yourself to something, when you really just wanted your husband to hook it up in some way... and it doesn't help that my husband is totally oblivious... he swears he's not a sweet tooth, but who do you think it is that begs me to make german pacakes every so often? and who's the one that makes the super sweet lemonade, or thinks a fruit smoothie counts as breakfast when i'm hungry for eggs and toast... and don't you ever even think of leaving any chocolate lying around in view... even out of view he will find it, and he will eat it, right in front of me...so anyway, the mother's day let down was one...
2, was I didn't think devon was still awake when i brought it over, and wasn't even planning to bring it over, i only made them cuz i thought that somehow going out with a bang might help me for some rediculous reason, and our friend todd who's living with us seemed really excited about them..
so... she may not believe nme, but i am really serious about it... and i totally regret eating the stinkin things... i have a really bad headache right now, and the worst feeling in my gut and i honestly don't know what i was thinking, besides what i've said already anyway, but none of it seems valid...
more than anything i'm just bummed that my usual methods of trying to get through to my husband aren't working, they never did i guess, so why am i surprized now...?
anyway... i'm not gonna be discouraged... and i really hope i didn't discourage her too much.. the whole thing, for me anyway, is hanging on the fact that we're doing it together, and i, for one, really need the support and motivation, so i'm disappointed in myself for letting her down so early in the game...
my goal is to quit sugar, and to not eat after 6 o'clock.... maybe not indefinately, but at least until i've made progres, which, if soon enough, i will be encouraged to continue abstaining, but if weeks go by and no weight loss, i will be forced to take more drastic measures... as if totally quitting sugar wasn't drastic enough...
i'm even quitting coffee, which isn't too insane, since i went without it during pregnancy, but i just have to... i love it way too much made just the right way, and absolutely cannot stand it without sugar... maybe once i've gone without sugar long enough it will start to taste sweeter...
anyway, i really think devon is also right about not having any sugar in your house... if i hadn't found those darned brownie mix boxes i might've been fine... but honestly i think they helped, in the sense that i didn't even enjoy eating them once i was caught...
so... cold turkey it is...
as of my waking hour i will no longer run to sugar at any and every opportunity that arises... either for comfort, or fun, or indulgence....
ooooo i know it's gonna be hard... but i gotta... i just gotta!! i weigh more now than i did 9 months pregnant with adora!!! that is just sick!!! especially since i was already 10-15 lbs over my highest ideal weight when i first concieved...
ok so... my goal..
i don't want to mention specific weights, cuz i know eveyone has different body types, and height is a factor, but i'm afraid if i mention the actual numbers people might flip out... but i will say this, although i don't trust or agree with the statistics necessarily, if i went by the charts, according to my height, i am actually considered obese right now, and not borderline either... but i honestly don't think i will ever make it all the way down to what is considered the normal weight for my height... i laugh when i think of it.. i mean i guess they expect all people 1 inch over 5 feet tall to be total twigs or something...
anyway... my end goal is to lose 35-40lbs... (believe it or not this will still put me 15-20 lbs over weight in "their" eyes, whoever those stupid "they"'s are
ok... soo.. i don't know about time limits... but my hope is by next summer to actually want to wear a bikini... i mean get excited to go buy one and see myself in it... is this vanity? i don't know.... i just don't think i could even wear a one peice happily... right now, if i were to go swimming, i'd wear my husbands swimming trunks... which are super tight on me and a t-shirt... i'd look and feel rediculous...
well... in case anyone is thinking it's too soon after having a baby to be so concerned about it, i will only repeat my friends statement.. it really is now or never....
i have talked about losing weight for years now, and never once in all that time gave it the slightest effort, and i have only gained and gained since then... i know i had 2 babies, but to be weighing what i weighed at full term quite honestly just plain grosses me out.
well... may the best woman win...jk... we're also sort of racing some friends up north in honor of elena's show, biggest loser... i really don't care about the numbers, i just want us each to be feeling good about ourselves... that is worth the sacrifice i think...
i hope...
well, i'm not one to make excuses, no more than anyone else anyway, but here's my reasoning...
1. we had decided we would start after mother's day, with the whole dieting-losing weight thing, and i must've said it to my husband a few times, thinking for sure i would get some kind of special treat for mother's day.. which i didn't, but i probably would've been fine with it if i hadn't found the boxes of brownie mix on my shelf when i was looking for couscous... as soon as i saw it all i could think was how i really expected to go out with a bang.. as if the full pint of ben and jerry's that i bought myself the night before mother's day wasn't enough... honestly i'm only remembering that just now as i'm typing...
i don't know, maybe it is different treating yourself to something, when you really just wanted your husband to hook it up in some way... and it doesn't help that my husband is totally oblivious... he swears he's not a sweet tooth, but who do you think it is that begs me to make german pacakes every so often? and who's the one that makes the super sweet lemonade, or thinks a fruit smoothie counts as breakfast when i'm hungry for eggs and toast... and don't you ever even think of leaving any chocolate lying around in view... even out of view he will find it, and he will eat it, right in front of me...so anyway, the mother's day let down was one...
2, was I didn't think devon was still awake when i brought it over, and wasn't even planning to bring it over, i only made them cuz i thought that somehow going out with a bang might help me for some rediculous reason, and our friend todd who's living with us seemed really excited about them..
so... she may not believe nme, but i am really serious about it... and i totally regret eating the stinkin things... i have a really bad headache right now, and the worst feeling in my gut and i honestly don't know what i was thinking, besides what i've said already anyway, but none of it seems valid...
more than anything i'm just bummed that my usual methods of trying to get through to my husband aren't working, they never did i guess, so why am i surprized now...?
anyway... i'm not gonna be discouraged... and i really hope i didn't discourage her too much.. the whole thing, for me anyway, is hanging on the fact that we're doing it together, and i, for one, really need the support and motivation, so i'm disappointed in myself for letting her down so early in the game...
my goal is to quit sugar, and to not eat after 6 o'clock.... maybe not indefinately, but at least until i've made progres, which, if soon enough, i will be encouraged to continue abstaining, but if weeks go by and no weight loss, i will be forced to take more drastic measures... as if totally quitting sugar wasn't drastic enough...
i'm even quitting coffee, which isn't too insane, since i went without it during pregnancy, but i just have to... i love it way too much made just the right way, and absolutely cannot stand it without sugar... maybe once i've gone without sugar long enough it will start to taste sweeter...
anyway, i really think devon is also right about not having any sugar in your house... if i hadn't found those darned brownie mix boxes i might've been fine... but honestly i think they helped, in the sense that i didn't even enjoy eating them once i was caught...
so... cold turkey it is...
as of my waking hour i will no longer run to sugar at any and every opportunity that arises... either for comfort, or fun, or indulgence....
ooooo i know it's gonna be hard... but i gotta... i just gotta!! i weigh more now than i did 9 months pregnant with adora!!! that is just sick!!! especially since i was already 10-15 lbs over my highest ideal weight when i first concieved...
ok so... my goal..
i don't want to mention specific weights, cuz i know eveyone has different body types, and height is a factor, but i'm afraid if i mention the actual numbers people might flip out... but i will say this, although i don't trust or agree with the statistics necessarily, if i went by the charts, according to my height, i am actually considered obese right now, and not borderline either... but i honestly don't think i will ever make it all the way down to what is considered the normal weight for my height... i laugh when i think of it.. i mean i guess they expect all people 1 inch over 5 feet tall to be total twigs or something...
anyway... my end goal is to lose 35-40lbs... (believe it or not this will still put me 15-20 lbs over weight in "their" eyes, whoever those stupid "they"'s are
ok... soo.. i don't know about time limits... but my hope is by next summer to actually want to wear a bikini... i mean get excited to go buy one and see myself in it... is this vanity? i don't know.... i just don't think i could even wear a one peice happily... right now, if i were to go swimming, i'd wear my husbands swimming trunks... which are super tight on me and a t-shirt... i'd look and feel rediculous...
well... in case anyone is thinking it's too soon after having a baby to be so concerned about it, i will only repeat my friends statement.. it really is now or never....
i have talked about losing weight for years now, and never once in all that time gave it the slightest effort, and i have only gained and gained since then... i know i had 2 babies, but to be weighing what i weighed at full term quite honestly just plain grosses me out.
well... may the best woman win...jk... we're also sort of racing some friends up north in honor of elena's show, biggest loser... i really don't care about the numbers, i just want us each to be feeling good about ourselves... that is worth the sacrifice i think...
i hope...
posted by 1weirdgirl at 12:15 AM
5 Comments:
Good luck. They say that if you can stick it out for 21 days it gets a lot easier. I have found that to be true.
are you still obese if you have really heavy bones? seriously- i was slender when me and nate got married, and i weighed 150 then! Muscle weighs more than fat, too.
are you sure you didn't get those numbers from the America's Top Model guidelines?
I will pray for you. I don't think it's too small a matter for prayer - quite the contrary, I know for me it would take a lot of "outside" help. "The fruit of the Spirit is...self-control." Just remember this will not only benefit you physically but spiritually!
Renee looks like i'm not the only one who will be supporting you, and me probably. I look forward to every day getting closer to our goals. Funny that they are very similar. yay!!
You are such a beautiful new mommy. I'm rooting for you with quitting sugar, though, just because it will make you feel so much better and stronger. You make rockin' healthy food, just concentrate on that! (Mmmmm... Quinoa)
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