AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
you, know... i could just be cruzin allong, everything's just fine, things are looking good, i feel great, i love my kids, i'm getting along with my husband... and then WHAM !!!BOOM!! out of nowhere, some random, little detail that got overlooked comes up and slaps me in the face knocks me down, kicks me, spits on me, throws piles of dirt and trash on me and leaves me for dead... ok this is a bit dramatic... but that's how i feel...
i got a ticket driving to the city a few weeks ago... totally forgot about it... and just now remembered that the court date was for on or before tomarrow morning.. this morning actually if you note the time i'm posting this... in like 7 hours to be exact...
at this moment i honestly do not know what i am going to do...
initially the plan was to go in to the court and beg for mercy, seeing as we are soo completely poor, and it was sooo an accident, that didn't cause anybody any harm or put one single ant or fly even in danger, let alone a human...(if you must know it was for trying to drive on the carpool lane of the bay bridge on a saturday!!!-the part that skips around the tolls-) i really did know better... and i shouldn't have listened to the people with me saying it was no big deal, they did it all the time, and ed claims to have not even realized it would totally bypass the toll booth, but thought it just brought you closer and only bypassed the traffic, which upon him saying such was what made me give in, thinking, ya your right, it's no big deal, and i'm joking and say, "watch they have like 5 cops waiting at the other side"... well... they did!!! how lame is that?... plus, in the whole reasons for begging for mercy bit, we live on welfare right now, and just had a second baby, and would have no way of paying it back... guess how much it is... $390.00!!!!! anyway, the only way for me to do that, is to get up at the but crack of dawn (i don't know why i like using that phrase, i honestly don't) and drive to oakland... and it's laundry day.. not just any laundry, but baby diapers...
even if i am all gunghoe and do go, it would litterally take all the money we have just for the gas to get there and back... the whole thing was off-set cuz ed had this job in the city last week, and i was gonna take care of it then, but then the job got postponed, yadda yadda yadda yadda
ok..it's gonna be ok... that's just what i have to do, and that's ok... either that or not show up, get a warrent, and a suspended lisence with my luck
please pray for me... even though it is my fault, i still feel very helpless and under attack and totally on the verge of a breakdown
if you wonder why i'm even writing this right now and not sleeping, i'll just say, 1) i was gonna post right now anyway... but with really cute pictures instead of ugly, ugly, ugliness,.. and 2) i guess, even if no one really does read this, whether i go or not, all day long tomarrow i will be thinking about how i asked the air to pray for me, and somewhere in me i'll be hoping someone heard, and trusting that someone is...
and that alone might get me through the day...
i got a ticket driving to the city a few weeks ago... totally forgot about it... and just now remembered that the court date was for on or before tomarrow morning.. this morning actually if you note the time i'm posting this... in like 7 hours to be exact...
at this moment i honestly do not know what i am going to do...
initially the plan was to go in to the court and beg for mercy, seeing as we are soo completely poor, and it was sooo an accident, that didn't cause anybody any harm or put one single ant or fly even in danger, let alone a human...(if you must know it was for trying to drive on the carpool lane of the bay bridge on a saturday!!!-the part that skips around the tolls-) i really did know better... and i shouldn't have listened to the people with me saying it was no big deal, they did it all the time, and ed claims to have not even realized it would totally bypass the toll booth, but thought it just brought you closer and only bypassed the traffic, which upon him saying such was what made me give in, thinking, ya your right, it's no big deal, and i'm joking and say, "watch they have like 5 cops waiting at the other side"... well... they did!!! how lame is that?... plus, in the whole reasons for begging for mercy bit, we live on welfare right now, and just had a second baby, and would have no way of paying it back... guess how much it is... $390.00!!!!! anyway, the only way for me to do that, is to get up at the but crack of dawn (i don't know why i like using that phrase, i honestly don't) and drive to oakland... and it's laundry day.. not just any laundry, but baby diapers...
even if i am all gunghoe and do go, it would litterally take all the money we have just for the gas to get there and back... the whole thing was off-set cuz ed had this job in the city last week, and i was gonna take care of it then, but then the job got postponed, yadda yadda yadda yadda
ok..it's gonna be ok... that's just what i have to do, and that's ok... either that or not show up, get a warrent, and a suspended lisence with my luck
please pray for me... even though it is my fault, i still feel very helpless and under attack and totally on the verge of a breakdown
if you wonder why i'm even writing this right now and not sleeping, i'll just say, 1) i was gonna post right now anyway... but with really cute pictures instead of ugly, ugly, ugliness,.. and 2) i guess, even if no one really does read this, whether i go or not, all day long tomarrow i will be thinking about how i asked the air to pray for me, and somewhere in me i'll be hoping someone heard, and trusting that someone is...
and that alone might get me through the day...
posted by 1weirdgirl at 12:34 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home