more to say...

well i guess i'm doing pretty good... in reference to my last post... i mean i'm tempted to go on and on, listing off all the offenses, the wrongs i've suffered, and the injustices i've endured... but i don't feel right about it... all i will say is
1. i've never been more offended by, hurt by, and mad at someone, as i was her, in my whole life
2. i'm also mad at myself, because i feel like i never stick up for myself or say what's really on my mind and heart, mostly out of fear of confrontation... despite the accusation that i like to create argument..
3. i really am just sad about it all (more sad than anything)... i was mad for a time, and felt like i needed affirmation for the feeling of being sinned against... but now it's just so sad to me.. i know i keep repeating that word, but it's the best one i have...
4. i feel like i should talk more about the relational, spiritual, and philosophical aspects of it, than the specifics of what happened... especially since
5. steffanie still is a human being, made in the image of God, and loved by our Creator, just as much as me, so really, i have no right to go on about it... and because that's another thing about what love is and is not, or does and does not do... godly love anyway...
6. love does not keep a record of wrongs suffered... and since
7. i have already myself failed every aspect of true love, as described in 1st Corinthians chapter 13, i would like to not continue on in that direction...


so.... i'm not trying to pat myself on the back really, just i've been mulling over all of it now for a while... and have written a few "posts" in my mind, all of which are only shameful to me....and, so, i guess i'm just saying to the part of me that still wants to be heard on all the stuff that i know better than to so say, that.."hey... it's ok...it's better not to...you'll only regret saying all that...."

it's kind of odd though... because there is a point that she had made one day about venting that does make sense... it does feel good to let it all out, the "bad" thoughts that swim around in your head... to say all that's on your mind, and then analyze it later..

but another point was made by my husband, a crucial one, and that is, that there has to be a line... between venting, and slander that should not be crossed... in other words, it's one thing to have an emotional release by talking about a difficult or stressful situation that you're going through, but it never makes it right to totally slander and defame someone's character by listing off all their faults or bad habits or specific things that they did... especially to others who were not involved in the circumstance, and especially if all the points are so exaggerated or blown up so as to not even be true...

so... since i certainly don't want the latter... to be safe, i won't even get into the prior...

anyway, once again, i'm gonna have to say..."more on that later", as my little hobbit baby is crying out for her second supper.... after first supper, and onesies and elevensies.. yes... just like a little hobbit...
couldn't have avoided it with me and her pa as parents... ok i go... it's gettin really loud now...