sad
sad is my word for the day
sad that my friend has left,
sad that we left on such bad terms,
sad that i was so happy to see her go... had anticipated it for days... had secretly sung to myself “ding dong the witch is dead, the wicked witch is dead”--- but she's not dead, just gone, and she's not a witch, and she's no more wicked than any of us
sad that we actually did somewhat "make up" at one point after a huge blow out, only to "fight" again on the way to the airport
sad that even the attempt to "make up" felt so hollow... at least to me...
sad that after so many years of knowing someone, i now feel like we never really knew each other at all
sad that i'm not sure i can share all that is honestly on my heart, for fear it will come out all wrong, or do more harm than good.
sad that a friendship may have ended
sad that i gave up
sad that she may never truly know my heart for her, that i do love her, and have prayed for her, and wept for her, and been before a God in a desperate plea for her soul (again, not as though she's in any more need than anyone)
sad that if she read this she may still read me all wrong, as she has for most of these last 2 weeks
sad that we got along so poorly
sad that i was so grossly misunderstood
sad that so many things were blown way out of proportion
sad that i can't fully convince myself to not hate her, even in some small way, because although i do love her... love is such an odd and strange thing...
it doesn't mean warm and fuzzy feelings all the time you're around someone
it doesn't mean you never raise your voice
it doesn't mean communication comes naturally
it doesn't mean the best of intentions are a given
it doesn't mean i never get mad
it doesn't mean just be quiet and pretend everything is fine and it eventually will be
it doesn't mean ignore all the pent up resentments long enough and they'll just go away
it doesn't mean blindness
it doesn't mean numbness
it doesn't mean lollipops and fairy tales and all your wishes come true...
at least not human love, not in today's world, not with all the sin and crap we bear in our hearts daily.
no.
love is hard work, and it's not always pretty
it's not always flowers and chocolate. Not all the time...
sad that that's not true
anyway, i guess i'll have more to say on all this tomorrowow, but i really gotta go to bed right now
sad that my friend has left,
sad that we left on such bad terms,
sad that i was so happy to see her go... had anticipated it for days... had secretly sung to myself “ding dong the witch is dead, the wicked witch is dead”--- but she's not dead, just gone, and she's not a witch, and she's no more wicked than any of us
sad that we actually did somewhat "make up" at one point after a huge blow out, only to "fight" again on the way to the airport
sad that even the attempt to "make up" felt so hollow... at least to me...
sad that after so many years of knowing someone, i now feel like we never really knew each other at all
sad that i'm not sure i can share all that is honestly on my heart, for fear it will come out all wrong, or do more harm than good.
sad that a friendship may have ended
sad that i gave up
sad that she may never truly know my heart for her, that i do love her, and have prayed for her, and wept for her, and been before a God in a desperate plea for her soul (again, not as though she's in any more need than anyone)
sad that if she read this she may still read me all wrong, as she has for most of these last 2 weeks
sad that we got along so poorly
sad that i was so grossly misunderstood
sad that so many things were blown way out of proportion
sad that i can't fully convince myself to not hate her, even in some small way, because although i do love her... love is such an odd and strange thing...
it doesn't mean warm and fuzzy feelings all the time you're around someone
it doesn't mean you never raise your voice
it doesn't mean communication comes naturally
it doesn't mean the best of intentions are a given
it doesn't mean i never get mad
it doesn't mean just be quiet and pretend everything is fine and it eventually will be
it doesn't mean ignore all the pent up resentments long enough and they'll just go away
it doesn't mean blindness
it doesn't mean numbness
it doesn't mean lollipops and fairy tales and all your wishes come true...
at least not human love, not in today's world, not with all the sin and crap we bear in our hearts daily.
no.
love is hard work, and it's not always pretty
it's not always flowers and chocolate. Not all the time...
sad that that's not true
anyway, i guess i'll have more to say on all this tomorrowow, but i really gotta go to bed right now
posted by 1weirdgirl at 1:56 AM
3 Comments:
i don't know why, but this made me cry, maybe because it's so true. i like it. it struck some honesty cord at the center of me.
oh my goodness, the same exact thing happened to me with a very good friend when we were visiting michigan last year-even the make up and then more weirdness at the airport. Weird
It is very sad to lose a friend like this and I too am saddened, but yet hopeful. You always read these stories in women's magazine about friends that grew up together and stayed together and I even have two friends who are like that. You can't help but wonder what you did wrong or what you could change. From my perspective, I can only add that it does have to do with what you don't have in common anymore. But be mindful that: "Through Him, all things are possible." Keep her in your prayers, and hopefully not all is lost
Post a Comment
<< Home