sometimes i fear that my depression really does run too deep to be set free
i never really know what to expevt with myself
at least not the specific kind of fear, worry or evil.
but fear worry and evil themselves are all to dependable

i'm glad there are some who call me friend
cuz it really starts to feel as though i don't have any

i feel like i will never be validated in my feelings
they are always wrong
or selfish
or proud
or rude
or some other thing that makes them not worth considering

i feel like even if i had everything i ever wanted, i would just ruin it all anyway

and as sorry as i am for the way that i am
i cannot change it

and i am tired of asking God for the help that never comes...