Today...

Today has shown me so much...Despite all the trials, and heartache I faced in this one turn of the earth, at the end of it now, I see I am truly blessed. I admit that I am at least a little scared... having children so close together is going to be very challenging, to say the least, but in this moment I feel so lucky...so overwhelmingly blessed, I can't even complain...and this is quite rare I must say. My daughter has at many times shown herself to be a very willful, independent, and even fiery young girl...and she's not even 2 yet!!! This has worried me and challenged me in so many ways, and yet today, not for the first time mind you, I saw in her, strength yes, maybe even a little wildness, but such a radiance and even jubilee....she's just so happy it really amazes me.... And yes, there are many things in her character that need fine tuning, but in a lot of ways I truly believe that this coming baby couldn't ask for a better big sister. I can tell that in her heart, she not only wants to please her mommy and daddy, but she treasures us as well. And though her 15 month old mind may not fully grasp it, I really believe she looks forward to the baby coming... She loves the "belly show", and even calls it "beebee" or "bee" in her cute little high pitched voice that is reserved only for babies, and really cute things... And just the fact that she loves to go to sleep, even for nap-times, alone is a huge bonus... Anyway, as I was laying her down for night night, and just looking at her and watching her fall asleep, I was thinking all these things... how wonderful she is, and sweet... and how even though I know I will be beyond exhausted in these coming months, I'm really looking forward to the baby myself, and the fact that we will all share "beebee" together... and I am thankful.